Parenting Poo Gate by Bloom Baby Classes
Poogate
The Bloom Blog
So after my last blog on relationships after kids I recalled an event or events (notice the plural) that have happened to us as a family. You know one of those moments that no-one prepares you for. Those events where your super powers are put to the test requiring quick thinking and impressive reaction times.
This has actually happened a few times, the first time was a a complete “WOAH” shocker but it’s happened loads of times since.
Having three girls all under 4 years you are kind of programmed to do things fairly quickly and in a ninja warrior way. As an example you can be cooking the dinner whilst holding the baby, with a toddler attached to your leg who’s decided that they no longer want to nap in the afternoon resulting in the witching hour from 430 onward. -whilst teaching the four year old to read. That kind of thing you know every day mum stuff.
Bath time was another machine production line kind of operation. The bath can fit 3 small people in and no-one can dissapear they are all pretty much in the same place for probably the only part of the day. You go along in a line, wet hair, wet hair, wet hair, shampoo, shampoo, shampoo, rinse, rinse, rinse etc. You get the picture.
It’s only on the occasion where toddler girl decides to take a dump in the bath that your day goes - to shit quite literally. Whether they just decide to take a poop or occasionally still where they have contracted diarrhea and the first you know about it is yep you guessed it in the family bath.
Eldest “Mummy mummy mummy”
They are all talking they are always all talking or making some sort of noise and you’ve just watched CBeebies for half an hour. Mummy is now on count down to wine o clock, mission kids bedtime and your quite frankly not paying any attention.
“Mummy there is poo in the bath”
Hey? There cannot be poop in the bath no -one poops in the bath. Holy heck the bath is filling with poo!!! Enter Supermum making them all stand and dodge the floating poos whilst you save the youngest first. As that’s the rules - despite the fact its most likely their poop it’s just the running order.
So there they stand crying that they have touched their sisters poop and all you can think about is the potential germ fest risks that can arise from this harrowing experience. Then you realise something…. You have to empty the plug. That’s right Mummy’s arm has to enter the poo ridden bath and empty the plug through sounds of “Ewwww mummy’s touching poo ewwww poooo ewwww”. You’d expect the nightmare to end there but it never does as more often than not the poo doesn’t go down the plughole and you are then required to find nappy sacks and collect every floater that has escaped from your darling child’s bottom.
Like I said earlier, this hasn’t just happened once in fact its happened to my husband on one occassion. We were both in the bathroom when the dreaded “Mummy theres poooo” declaration occurred and what happened? Absolutely nothing he just stood there with a shocked face unable to move. Either that or in shock of my ultra fast and now professional poo saving skills.
It is with events like this that the 7pm bedtime is a mum’s favourite time of the day. The time that Super-mum can finally relax on the settee with a glass of wine. For about half an hour….
I hope you enjoyed my POOP Blog if you have had a similar experience please share and make me feel slightly more normal.
Victoria Jennings Bloom Baby Classes
Changing friendships by Bloom Baby Classes.
Having a baby changes you in many ways as we all know. I didn’t realise how much having a baby would change my relationship with my mum and i didn’t realise or was prepared for how my friendships would change after having a baby. It’s sad to say but I lost many friends after becoming a mum and realised that there are things every mum who has lost a friend should know.
When Ana was 3 months old one of my closest friends at the time was getting married. I had been invited for a weekend away as part of her hen weekend. I was still breastfeeding and Ana wouldn’t take a bottle. My friend didn’t understand how much I was personally struggling, how much I feared leaving the house and how lonely I felt. She also didn’t understand that it was impossible for me to leave Ana. Needless to say that friendship broke down. and the reason was because I had a little person who needed feeding every couple of hours and there was nothing I could do about that. I was almost solely responsible for the life of a tiny human being and as a result couldn’t go away for a weekend and leave her.
There were other friends I obviously didn’t see as often and our friendships faded through no fault of anyone’s and as often friendships do. Friends can often grow in different directions and life in general can get in the way. There are no sour feelings between us, we just realized that life can push people in opposite directions.
I know I am not the only mum to loose friends through motherhood itself or the choices she makes as a parent but having a baby can change your priorities. It can be a hurtful experience where you feel let down - almost like a divorce, they are also often unavoidable and sometimes for the best. I often say all things happen for a reason and most likely when one person leaves your life in such a way a new person is just about to enter it.
Here are my 5 tips to help if you have experienced the loss of a friend since becoming a mum.
Sometimes ending a friendship can be the best thing for you to do.
Yes that’s right, it sounds strange but there are so many people who can be physically toxic and when you get to the roots of that friendship and how they make you physically feel ending that friendship can be the best thing for you and your mental health. Some people can make you question yourself, make you feel low - is that person worth your time?
No more “What if’s”
It will do absolutely no good to spend your time obsessing over the friendship and what may or may not (maybe) have gone wrong. What's done is done; what happened has happened. Don't beat yourself up about what you could have done or what you wish your friend would have done.
Friendships should not be exhausting
A friendship should not be a battle, it should not be about one person putting way to much effort in and getting nothing in return Do not waste your time trying to salvage something that is effectively toxic. Let that person go, focus on you, focus on other healthy friendships, your family , your hobbies, job etc. You should not become emotionally drained trying to keep someone in your life.
Ending your friendship doesn’t mean you just erase those good memories
Just because a friendship has broken down does not mean that you have to forget and file away all those good times you may of had. Everyone changes, life changes and creates different needs from you as a person and different purposes. Reminisce of the good times , appreciate the friendship for what it was then. It's okay to appreciate you time you did have, while realizing that, well, that time has come to an end.
Happiness is key
Your own happiness and feeling as comfortable as you possibly can in your own skin is whats fundamentally important. Do what is right for you, if someone doesn’t understand you, is negative or no longer understands where you are do what is right for you.
I Know from running Bloom Baby Classes and getting to know many of you that some of you have experienced similar situations like this and hope you enjoyed reading this blog.. Since creating Bloom I have met some very amazing individuals that I work alongside and who I am very proud to know. and consider my friends.
To both my business partner and my long standing best friend you support me in so many ways I am so proud to have you both by my side.
Please comment below if you enjoyed this or have a topic you would like me to cover.
Vic x
3 babies, 3 pregnancies, 3 mindsets by Bloom Baby Classes
When i think back to each of my pregnancies they were all fairly different but what stands out each time is my attitude towards each one of them that makes them stand apart the most. I haven’t ever wrote about any of my actual pregnancies so thought it was about time! At Bloom Baby Classes we are now starting to see mum’s back with their second baby which is wonderful to see and some of you may be now thinking about baby number 2.
First time pregnancy – I knew exactly which foods I couldn’t eat, and was religious about avoiding them. Soft cheeses? No way! Runny eggs? Hell no!!
Second time – I have a vague idea of the foods I should avoid, but to be honest we were still co-sleeping with our 18 month old! I would ask Mr J “why do french women eat cheese when their pregnant? Will it be OK to eat some salmon?” I was much more relaxed and figured cheese wise I would just avoid unpasteurized. I was a lot more lazy about the whole thing second time round.The guidelines had changed within that small timescale anyway. (this isn’t medical advice always follow NHS guidelines folks"!”
Third time - With a 3 year old a 1 year old toddling around I was far too exhausted to even cook from scratch!! I drank a small glass of wine some evenings as it was my only sanity! By the time the girls were in bed I was far too tired to even think about food so M&S became our savior. In the daytime biscuits and cake would help my lagging body survive the day!
First time pregnancy – I worked full time in an office, 8.30-6pm Monday to Friday and beavered away, desperate not to drop any balls or compromise the quality of my work, despite feeling nauseous / exhausted / in later stages, like a whale. Terrified of not having an income or job to come back to after my maternity leave.
Second time – I walked out of above job after sitting for weeks at my desk feeling nauseous and realizing that life was too short. I needed to slow the heck down!! I missed my baby and full-time work was not for me.
Third time - I was self employed as a child minder as it meant I could be at home with my children and still earn something to contribute towards the bills. Being around children made me smile I only wished I could nap in the day like they did!
First time pregnancy – I was so organised. I’m pretty sure that by four months pregnant, I’d already spent hours researching prams, car seats and cots. I’d started buying things from a baby bath to muslins, even though I wasn’t totally sure what muslins were for - how could I not know! I bought about 2 dozen and boy was I glad I did!
Second time – I know I’ve got some stuff in the loft, I know I’ve got some stuff to buy, I know I need to do some research because there are so many new things available since I was last pregnant, but have I looked into any of it? Nope. Unlike last time, I know you can get by with minimal STUFF so while I will do some research and buy some new things, I’m not in a panic about it.
Third time - I hope its a girl! Let it be another girl so we don’t have to buy a thing! I’m too tired and skint to buy anything!! Boys are OK with a red pram ? What about pink baby gros? Let it be pink!
First time pregnancy – I had a fairly normal social life, you know aside from those first few weeks where I was green with nausea . But once that had gone during my mid trimester, I went to the pub with my friends, I went shopping at weekend for new baby things, lets show this bump off!!
Second time – Well - social life? Whats one of those?!.
Third time - As above, anyone who wants to sit in a pub drinking lime and soda at 8pm???? 8pm?? who goes out at 8pm????!
First time pregnancy – Every twinge I felt, in my stomach area, worried me. Is something wrong? Google helped or didn’t help. Messaging my friend who had had a baby every single damned day. .”is this normal TMI!”
Second time – I’m so much more relaxed. This is a walk in the park - just do not try think about the birth!
Third time - I was being monitored third time around as Honey baby number two was almost 10lbs! I was tired, fed up and grumpy. I had SPD and felt constantly tired but the time just flew I had barely any time to check baby centre I knew it all !! An absolute pro!
First time pregnancy – I pre-washed every item of clothing I bought for my baby. Before she even arrived, my house was covered in tiny pieces of laundry, hung up to dry I was Super-mum most definitely.
Second time – At about 37 weeks I got all the clothes out of the wardrobe, stuck them all in the wash together and folded them into another pile of things that would one day get put away.
Third time - “This can be worn again can’t it?” “oh that’ OK just a small stain they are only in them two minutes it will be fine” Most of the clothes missing, lost in a wardrobe somewhere. Hand me down Kate third time around.
I’d love to hear how your pregnancy’s were different and if you have more than 3 how it changed again from there! Drop your comments below.
Author Victoria Jennings, owner/founder of Bloom Baby Classes. Multi Sensory Baby development classes .
Bloom Baby Classes Guide To Play Ideas For Your Growing Baby
When Ana was first born we must have spent a small fortune on a tonne of plastic toys, packaged as if they were preparing for a nuclear holocaust that not even the strongest pair of scissors could break open! Most of the time these toys just ate batteries and got ignored whilst my girls found more fun playing with some pots and pans and a wooden spoon! Below is a useful guide of heuristic play ideas for your growing baby supporting their learning and development through their first year..
When your baby is newborn up to 3 months a baby doesn't really need any toys, you are enough for them. Being close to you is their preferred occupation! However you may want to encourage their development naturally and there are a few things you buy to use at home that your baby will love.
We love these Montessori Rainbow Ribbon Teethers, these are perfect for encouraging the muscles in your baby’s eyes and aiding their vision. Move the rainbow across their vision so they follow it with their eyes and tilt their heads to follow it around the room.
Another great addition for a young baby is a finger puppet. Finger puppets are also a great way of promoting early language skills, talking and singing a nursery rhyme to your baby with the puppet whilst she follows it with her eyes. Our Bloom babies love our mini caterpillar puppet at our baby classes
At 3-6 months your baby is spending more of their time awake and is more aware of their surroundings. Baby is also increasing its own strength now its muscles are starting to develop. Your baby during this time will learn to roll and you will find that most things your baby grasps are put to their mouth. This is the way your baby learns about objects through its taste and texture.
Many babies love wooden items to put into their mouths such as wooden spoons and spatulas and these are really easy to find in local stores. They also help teethy babies. Another great and cheap item you can try is an emergency foil heat blanket or as we call them “Space foil!”
For babies learning tummy time place the foil underneath them and let them explore it whilst on their tummy. Or try cutting the foil into squares and let your baby explore the sound and touch of the foil in their hands.
The blankets are cheap to buy and available on amazon.
Your baby is getting more and more mobile during this stage, they may have learnt to sit unaided or even crawl! Your baby is now inquisitive and ready to explore even more about the world they live in. A treasure basket is a great way to encourage your child’s natural development. A treasure basket is a natural wicker basket filled with every day natural items such as metal spoons, feathers, pieces of material, wooden spoons and honey spoons etc. A treasure basket allows a baby to explore, experiment and make choices at their own pace.
Frequent users of treasure baskets have been observed sifting through and discarding all the items until they find their favorite object, proof of the vital connections taking place in the brain”
Tom Shea “a learning experience to treasure” 2004
The treasure basket method was created by Elinor Goldchmied many years ago. It supports the view that we can provide our babies with a richer sensory experience by providing natural heuristic items as opposed to plastic toys, with one smell and texture and taste. Natural objects possess a wide variety of sensory properties, and many therefore are perfect for the Treasure Basket. As a baby notices a lemon or a natural sponge, then picks it up and explores with their gums and tongue, she simultaneously catches its scent, colour, texture and flavour. You can also add household items such as a bunch of keys or an egg whisk, as a baby shakes the keys or hits with the whisk they are also promoting their motor control and cognitive development.
We hope you enjoyed our Blog on Heuristic baby toys, what is your baby’s favourite treasure basket item? Drop your comments below.