Five Minute Self Care For Mums

No matter what you do for a living whether you are a stay at home mum or the exec of a multi national we all need some time out and to concentrate on our self care. If we don’t look after ourselves we run the risk of getting severe burn out. This is when we are truly good for nothing. Here’s my Bloom Baby Classes guide to finding time to focus and find yourself again.

Juggling life as a parent can be one heck of a stress. Rushing from place to place returning to a house full of laundry and a sink full of dirty pots can make you feel even more overwhelmed than you do already. As a mum of three girls, all with big personalities I often feel like my job is never done and this often adds to my pre-existing condition of anxiety. However learning to take a little time of for myself helps me regain a little control and avoids me from burning out completely. The struggle really is real to stay on top of things but in this blog I will give you a couple of self care tips that wont break the bank and do not require you spending hours away from home.

There is lots of advice out there for “taking time out for you”, “take a weekend away with friends” when you are completely skint and too exhausted for company. For most parents these ideals of “me time” is just completely unobtainable. People would say to me “you need a break go and have a nice relaxing bath”. A bath in my house with at the time 3 under 4 year olds was just a recipe for disaster with the toddler trying to climb in, the preschooler needing a poop and the baby crying. Life became a stress and exhaustion takes it out of you. You quickly can become exhausted and start to burnout symptoms may include:

• Feeling parental fatigue

• Feeling constantly tired

• Being too tired to parent properly

• Feeling overwhelmed and not enjoying parenthood

• Feeling tired, grumpy and no longer like yourself

• Poor eating habits

• Poor mental health

• Feeling sad and anxious

• Insomnia and sleep problems

Finding ways to focus on your self care enable us to regroup and recharge our batteries and also take the edge of some of this symptoms. Here are my top tips to help.

Bedtime relaxation

Take just five minutes before bedtime to really focus on your breathing and try to relax as much as possible. If you have lots on your mind write a list before you start and get all those worries and parenting reminders out of your head they can wait till tomorrow. Count your breaths in and out. Breathe in and try to fill your tummy as much as possible with air, breathe out slowly and repeat do this ten times. Just five minutes will leave you feeling relaxed and ready for rest,

Take a break outside

The great outdoors is proven to help our health. Just five minutes of some fresh air can make you feel different. Got more time? Take a walk? Enjoy the outdoors , look at the trees and focus on the nature around you (if you have any) if you don’t just declutter your mind and think about YOU!

Read

Five minutes of reading can help you switch off. Choose a magazine you enjoy and put the kettle on. Chores can wait for five minutes. Enjoy!

Just five minutes a day add up to 35 minutes a week - go on treat yourself! Have more time to spend? Try 10 minutes - that’s over 70 minutes of self care a week. Go You! Imagine how much of that book you have been longing to read you could get through!

Nutrition

It’s all to easy to skip meals or over indulge on sugary snacks when your sleep deprived and I truly believe that ANY mum should give herself a break and not focus too much on her weight or worry that she doesn’t have her pre baby body back. Lets face it who cares and does it even matter? Drinking enough water though helps your body. I feel so much better after drinking at least 1 litre of water a day. Often I will challenge myself to drinking 2 litres and have to say it does me the world of good.

Take an early night

No going to bed early does not make you boring, it actually helps your body to get you through this parenting job! Even half an hour earlier than your normal bedtime can do wonders for your mental health. This is also so important if you are still getting up and down in the night with a child. Put that programme on record and catch up on it tomorrow. Though it might be completely impossible in those first few years of becoming a parent 8 hours is what your body needs to stay on top. A daytime nap when the baby sleeps can also help fill in the gaps. Don’t feel guilty the washing can indeed wait.

So even if your busy and feel you have no time for you just five minutes each day can be implemented into your daily routine and help your well-being.

How do you practice self care as a busy mum? I would love to hear so comment below or drop me an email at victoria@bloomwellbeing.co.uk.

Writer:Victoria Jennings Founder of Bloom Baby Classes.

#babyclasses #wellbeing #selfcare

How having my business helped my mental wellbeing.

By Victoria Jennings Founder of Bloom Baby Classes

Birth stories. We all have one.

But what about the stories that follow and the people they shape us to be?

I gave birth to Ana in 2008. It was a traumatic birth. Assisted delivery, use of forceps, and doctors throwing the word ‘emergency’ around for added terror. Physically, I was not in a good place, and it would turn out that I wasn’t in a great place mentally, either.

We never know who will get PND, but with the traumatic birth, plus the fact that Ana cried all day every day due to reflux, I could see that I was becoming a likely candidate. I went on to suffer with PND for the best part of 18 months. It was a constant feeling of impending doom, exhaustion, and not being able to find the joy in anything. I felt every day of it.

I was awful to be around, and it got to the point where my husband started looking for somewhere else to live. I knew that none of it was my fault – Post Natal Depression doesn’t work like that – but I knew that it was my responsibility to try and make things better; for me as much as for my relationships. I’d long been in the habit of making doctor’s appointments and always cancelling. That would need to change. I didn’t want Ana to grow up watching me suffer. I began to force myself to focus on the good in my life. We had a dog, and hearing that exercise and fresh air could really help, Ana, Vince and I would start to go out on daily walks together. We would always play music in the house and I would sing whatever played. This really helped me to bond with Ana, too.

Having struggled with my weight and an eating disorder in my younger days, I’d always had a strange relationship with food. To help me feel and look better during my PND, I started clean eating, and used social media to blog and share recipes and results. Clearly, this was something that resonated with other new mums, as I quickly gained a huge following.

Even though I’d returned to my corporate career when Ana was 4 months old to keep my mind ticking over – as so many parents want and need to do – I wanted to look into monetising the work I was now doing online. It was getting results and building a brand for me through a great following… there had to be something in it. My resolve was strengthened when, after a year back in work, the PND peaked and was made worse by the fact I felt I was never getting to see Ana.

So, I quit, and I retrained as a childminder. Although I was still very much suffering with PND (you don’t just get over it), I went on to have another daughter, and began to enjoy spending quality time with my girls and learning about their development. Having attended some baby classes along the way, with differing results, the idea for Bloom started to take shape. I knew I needed something else, and I felt I could do something else, too.

I guess what I’m saying, is that my PND actually helped make me who I am today, and helped shape everything I’ve built in Bloom so that other parents may see a light at the end of the tunnel. Whilst I hope that the Bloom Baby Classes I’ve created will be the outlet that other parents – suffering from PND or not - might need and benefit from in bonding with their child in a safe, welcoming and developmental environment, I also hope that the opportunity to join our Franchise family will be just what someone needs as they look to take back control in their life. I don’t know where I’d have been without such an opportunity, so now I want to give it to somebody else. Could that person be you?

#babyclassfranchise #myjourney #postnataldepression #franchisor

Blooming Fantastic Win At National Awards For Bloom Baby Classes

/Founder Victoria Jennings at the National Whats on for kids awards 2019

On Friday 11th October Bloom were announced as the UK’s Most Loved Baby Class at the national whats on 4 kids awards. We are truly over the Blooming moon!!

The Whats on 4 kids awards are the most prestigious awards in the UK and the Bloom team headed down to London to celebrate their win. When I created Bloom back in 2017 my goal was to be able to proudly show the Whats on 4 kids badge and this weekend my dream came true!

View fullsize

I invited 3 franchisees down together with head of creative design Amanda Gray who makes all the beautiful props that you see in the classes. This year was the first year Bloom had been nominated for any awards and over 80,000 people took part in the national voting. To those in the industry, these prestigious awards are like “the Oscars” of the kids activities industry.

Supporting me at the awards were fellow franchisees Jess Knight from Bloom Cheshire West, Caroline Beckett from Bloom Cheshire East and Louisa Murphy from Stockport South. We ran a competition back in August for 3 people to join me at the event.

When the time came around to announce the winner of the first award my heart was pounding out of my chest. When our name was called out screams of joy filled the room from the five of us! Sorry fellow attendees! I had no speech planned as I didn’t think we would win so I muddled through with a fairly emotional and blubbering thank you to everyone.

National awards like these mean so much to us all at Bloom Baby Classes as this is recognition of all our hard work and its the parents of our classes who actually vote. To win both awards tells me we are doing something very right and on behalf of myself and my amazing team of franchisees, we thank all our families who have brought their babies to our classes since we began in 2017.

New Bloom Baby Class Franchise Coming To Bury!

We are very proud to announce the arrival of our latest Franchisee Deborah Grogan to the bloom franchise family. Deborah will be running classes around the Bury and Ramsbottom area from January 2020. Mum of three boys Deborah has a background in childcare and saw our advert on Mumandworking.com.

Hi, my name is Deborah and I am the proud mum of 3 beautiful boys, Harvey 16, Will 11 and Oliver 6.  I absolutely love spending loads of time with my family, it is very important to me. 

I have worked in early years for 27 years now (I know, how did that happen!) I have a Degree in Early Childhood Studies and an NNEB Diploma.

I came across Bloom when looking for a career particularly working with babies and families (I utterly adore babies!).When I met up with the lovely Victoria to observe one of the classes, I was literally blown away of how beautiful it was and became very emotional. At that point I knew this was something I was very excited to be part of.

Therefore, I am extremely excited beyond belief to announce I will be starting my own classes in January 2020.I am really looking forward to meeting all you mummies, daddies and most importantly your little bundles of joys!

I feel very privileged to be able to share some very special memories with you. 

We are delighted to welcome Deborah to the team and look forward to seeing her classes up and running in January 2020. For more information on Deborahs classes visit www.facebook.com/bloomclassesbury.

If you are looking for a change of career and think you would make a great class leader get in touch with us. Our UK franchise opportunities are £5995 and offer a proven business model that supports flexible working opportunities.

The latest baby name trends for 2019 by Bloom Baby Classes

When I was pregnant with all of my girls my partner and I would spend HOURS searching baby names. It is such a difficult decision choosing the right name. At Bloom Baby Classes each year we see more and more babies with the most unique names which I just love. According to Nameberry the latest trend in baby names are now inspired by various gemstones however they are different to what you might expect.

Over the years we have seen names rising in popularity such as Jade, Amber and Ruby but now we are seeing a new wave of jewel inspired names the most popular being Amethyst, Emerald and Esme.

I love Opal and Sapphire for girls and Jet and Jasper for boys - we have a few jets at Bloom Baby Classes such a cool and strong name at the same time. Jet is of course a black gemstone almost coal like and Jasper a type of coloured quartz.

Here are some more jewel names for girls that you will either love or hate which one is it for you?

Diamond

Bijou

Emerald

Ruby

Pearl

Opal

Crystal

Beryl

Aggate

Coral

Gemma

Jewel

Olivine

And for the boys…

Mica

Jett

Slate

Jasper

Onyx

Flint

Citrine

Silver

Alexandrite

Ocean

Which are your favourites ?

If you are expecting and searching for the right name for your baby try www.nameberry.com for thousands of ideas.

Written by Victoria Jennings founder of Bloom Baby Classes.

Bloom Baby Classes guide to encouraging your baby's speech

During your baby’s first years you’ll be amazed of how your little one goes from babbling to knowing how to participate in conversations. Bloom have put together a timeline of what you can expect of your little one’s language development during this exciting time. Remember though that every baby is different and develops at his or her own pace. It’s perfectly normal if your little one reaches these stages a little early or a little late. As a mum of three children all 3 of my girls started talking at different stages they all get there in the end. We have also had support of some amazing speech and language therapists.

Cooper the Caterpillar fun!

Birth to 3 months

These first months are all about your baby’s sounds and incredibly their gestures too. You’ll hear her make vowel and guttural sounds to express herself. Repeat these sounds back to her. She’ll start experimenting with moving her arms, so you might see her shake them if something catches her attention. During these months pay attention to her facial expressions. Through them she’ll let you know if she likes or dislikes something. This is a great time to start reading to your baby - you may feel silly but exposing her to speech and language from such a young age can really help encourage their speech.

4-7 months

From around this time your little one will be paying more attention to the sounds and voices around them. Your baby will probably be most interested in the tone of your voice but she will also start to adjust the tone of her babbles too. Babies become much more responsible to the sounds that you make - introducing simple syllables and words now and they may start repeating those sounds.

8-12 months

By now your baby might be babbling away while you talk to her almost simulating a conversation. Alongside this will hand gestures and she may well be pointing at the objects she wants and imitating words you say. Any familiar objects or people she will recognise and turn to when they are named. Mama and Dada will probably be first words that she recognizes and repeats. At this stage a “word” is any sound that refers to the same person like “mama” “dada” “nana” As your little one tries to imitate those syllables they might sound slightly different such a “mik” for “milk” . Reply with “milk” and over time she will make the correction herself.

At around 12 months your baby might be making sounds of “gibberish” that has variations of understandable speech included. . So, as long as she’s experimenting with sounds that vary in intensity, pitch, and quality, she’s getting ready to talk.

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13-18 months

During these months your little one will start answering your questions by changing her behavior, gestures, or words. She’ll be able to point to “Mummy” and “Daddy” and familiar objects when she hears their name. She’ll have lots of fun playing with you and pointing to animal images and imitating their sounds. She will also start growing her repertoire of words with meaning at this stage too.

19-24 months

Between these months you might see your baby’s language grow rapidly. Your now toddler will know the names of some animals, foods and body parts and maybe some familiar objects around the house. She may be able to make simple one-word statements on places you have been or things she has done. Toddlers are also able to communicate with their needs or wants such as “go park” or “night night”

Remember that the best way to support her language development is through meaningful interactions from an early age. Reading music and song is also a good way to encourage your baby’s language skills too. Bloom baby classes music has been created to teach rhythm and tempo with lots of start and stop elements as well as teaching body awareness to your child.

You can download our new album on itunes or apple music here:

https://music.apple.com/gb/album/bloom-baby-classes/1469191000

Have a listen here!

Time-to-be-real-bloom-baby-classes

The arrival of my daughter Ana was (and still is) the best moment of my life. Hands. Down. For my husband and I becoming parents for the first time was everything we dreamed about throughout our pregnancy and successful delivery. We prepared and welcomed to the world 1 beautiful baby girl with 10 fingers, 10 toes and 2 knackered parents. The usual scenario right? After posting what seemed to be a million photos of Ana on social media, our version of happily ever after was successfully liked, loved, and recorded forever on the internet. I, however, was miserable. I didn’t know it yet, but Postnatal Depression was getting ready to punch me in the gut, laugh in my face and try to take my marriage down.  

 The “new baby” euphoria wore off extremely quickly. This euphoria was replaced with feeling down; I struggled to adjust to the new normal all while my partner snored away during night feedings unbeknownst to him. My partner was often the target of my strong emotions because I was upset that he was not suffering as I was. In the beginning, I thought maybe it was just the “baby blues”.  I was extremely sleep deprived and could barely get a bite to eat or hop in the shower (greasy hair can really make a woman go mad). Night after night I lie awake nursing Ana with aching, cracked and bleeding nipples courtesy of breastfeeding. I’m overwhelmed, tired, and it is not fair that he is able to sleep while I get to be the one suffering. Why can’t I cut off my boobs and make him do this part?  HOW DARE HE SLEEP LIKE A BABY AT A TIME LIKE THIS!?!? Because of my anger, I wanted to check out of my relationship altogether. What I did not realize then was how my attitude and behavior created a huge space between my husband and I. We nearly called it quits

 Postnatal Depression can take a toll on the strongest of relationships. My attitude certainly did not help. Nor did social media. A quick scroll immediately triggered feelings of anger and uncertainty. Seeing posts of perfect family photos and seeing videos of Dads being helpful, or reading posts about how amazing a friend’s husband is, etc. would add to my anger. There is no way in hell that I would be able to write a sappy Facebook post about how amazing my husband is and how much more in love I am with him now that we have welcomed home, Ana You wish to be like the perfect people you see on the screen.  I refuse to pretend that life after baby is amazing. It can be rough, challenging, upsetting, and rewarding all at the same time. 

 We have to remind ourselves that online perceptions are carefully crafted and people only want us to see the good stuff. People are happy to omit the moments when their boobs are leaking through their blouse after returning back to work, or the selfie in the car on the way out on a family day trip when 5 minutes previously they have all been bickering and arguing because that’s not a good look!. No one is perfect and no parent is perfect. Eliminating the outside noise and chatter is the key to keeping it together.   I am now on a mission to start showing you the real life side of parenting and encourage you to do so too. Be real, be you and most importantly be HAPPY!

Its time to be real written by Victoria Jennings the founder of Bloom baby classes. Parenting expert regularly featuring in the national and international media.

Dear Meghan Markle Bloom Baby Classes tips for the new mum

As the country prepares for the imminent arrival of the new royal baby I have created my own top tips for the Duchess to help prepare her for what's to come. As a mum of three I’ve learnt all the mistakes possible and let's face it she will appreciate my advice hey?! So without further delay here are my 5 top tips for Meghan and of course her devoted husband Harry and you lot at Bloom Baby Classes of course!

1. Stay in that hospital for as long as possible!

2. Get lots of rest and keep up those pretty swollen feet for at least a couple of days your body has been through one heck of a ride carrying your bundle of joy for the past 9 months. Then there was the birth. Allow your body to readjust in the care of the hospital restrict visitors allow this a time for just your and Harry you will appreciate this time to bond, there is plenty of time for others. Cherish this moment the two of you and photograph it to look back on in the future.

3. Banish visitors for at least one week from the palace.

4. We all have family members that cannot wait to get a sneak peek of the new baby, the nosey neighbour who thought she would just “pop in” to see how you're getting on. The sister in law who cannot wait to tell you-you're doing everything wrong. Say No! Be Strong Sister! Tell HRH that your resting and learning about motherhood, taking it in your own time and did I mention cherishing those early moments?!

5. For those of you who are invited think how you could help, don’t go expecting a brew and biscuits from the royal biscuit caddy. Get up and make the new mum a hot drink yourself she might only get to drink it when it turned cold but she will appreciate your efforts.

6. When the sis in law Kate plays a visit, being a mum herself the Duchess of Sussex might want to think back on those early days and what would of helped her recovery a little? Perhaps a quick trip to Waitrose and nip in with George, Charlotte and Louis beforehand to pick up some decent healthy ready meals that Harry can whizz in the oven? Perhaps some Charlie Binghams and a side salad? Don’t worry about the tantrums in the supermarket Kate its an everyday occasion for us non-royals.

7. Ensure wifey eats - and drinks!

8. Whilst we're on the subject of food, could someone explain to Harry that for the next 6 months he will have to cut up Ms Markles food into small enough pieces that she can stab a fork with and precariously attempt to place in her mouth without disturbing her feeding or sleeping baby, better still Harry you hold the baby and let Megan enjoy that Binghams meal. Another top tip for any new dad out there is to ensure that there is ALWAYS and I say ALWAYS a glass of water near your breastfeeding other half. There are no words to describe the feeling of sheer utter dehydration that comes over any breastfeeding mum that begins feeding without prepping a large glass of water by their side! “Did someone say Camel? I need fluid!”

9. Stock up on hair bobbles

10. For the first year of all my daughter's lives I lived with fish wife hair. It’s a fact and something Meghan should accept, who cares about hair when you haven’t slept a wink for the past 12 weeks. The slapped back look should be a proud shout of to other mums “hey I’m a mum messy hair don’t care!” And who better to showcase such a look than Meghan herself she would own that messy bun. Oh and perhaps stock up on hairspray to keep those stray baby hairs under control that will continue to grow and waft around for the next 3-4 years!

11. Sleep is for losers

12. Lets be really really brutally honest, you're probably not going to get a decent nights sleep till the prince or princess is around 5. Ok 6 maybe i’m lying slightly by which time your body will of manually adjusted itself into walking mombie mode. Like I said sleep is for losers. Who needs it, really ??!

Joking aside, we wish the Duchess of Sussex the best of luck with her upcoming labour and to anyone else out there due a baby in the next coming months. Look after yourself, ask for help or advice if you need it. Get fresh air each day when you can. Call up a friend or relative with a baby or child. Laugh about all the bad things that have happened. The baby poo on the new settee, the four outfit changes before midday, relate and support one another. Were all in this same boat together whether your a duchess, princess, nurse or stay at home mum we all share one of the best jobs in the world. So re-adjust your crown, take a deep breathe we got your back!

Parenting Poo Gate by Bloom Baby Classes

Poogate

The Bloom Blog

So after my last blog on relationships after kids I recalled an event or events (notice the plural) that have happened to us as a family. You know one of those moments that no-one prepares you for. Those events where your super powers are put to the test requiring quick thinking and impressive reaction times.

This has actually happened a few times, the first time was a a complete “WOAH” shocker but it’s happened loads of times since.

Having three girls all under 4 years you are kind of programmed to do things fairly quickly and in a ninja warrior way. As an example you can be cooking the dinner whilst holding the baby, with a toddler attached to your leg who’s decided that they no longer want to nap in the afternoon resulting in the witching hour from 430 onward. -whilst teaching the four year old to read. That kind of thing you know every day mum stuff.

Bath time was another machine production line kind of operation. The bath can fit 3 small people in and no-one can dissapear they are all pretty much in the same place for probably the only part of the day. You go along in a line, wet hair, wet hair, wet hair, shampoo, shampoo, shampoo, rinse, rinse, rinse etc. You get the picture.

It’s only on the occasion where toddler girl decides to take a dump in the bath that your day goes - to shit quite literally. Whether they just decide to take a poop or occasionally still where they have contracted diarrhea and the first you know about it is yep you guessed it in the family bath.

Eldest “Mummy mummy mummy”

They are all talking they are always all talking or making some sort of noise and you’ve just watched CBeebies for half an hour. Mummy is now on count down to wine o clock, mission kids bedtime and your quite frankly not paying any attention.

“Mummy there is poo in the bath”

Hey? There cannot be poop in the bath no -one poops in the bath. Holy heck the bath is filling with poo!!! Enter Supermum making them all stand and dodge the floating poos whilst you save the youngest first. As that’s the rules - despite the fact its most likely their poop it’s just the running order.

So there they stand crying that they have touched their sisters poop and all you can think about is the potential germ fest risks that can arise from this harrowing experience. Then you realise something…. You have to empty the plug. That’s right Mummy’s arm has to enter the poo ridden bath and empty the plug through sounds of “Ewwww mummy’s touching poo ewwww poooo ewwww”. You’d expect the nightmare to end there but it never does as more often than not the poo doesn’t go down the plughole and you are then required to find nappy sacks and collect every floater that has escaped from your darling child’s bottom.

Like I said earlier, this hasn’t just happened once in fact its happened to my husband on one occassion. We were both in the bathroom when the dreaded “Mummy theres poooo” declaration occurred and what happened? Absolutely nothing he just stood there with a shocked face unable to move. Either that or in shock of my ultra fast and now professional poo saving skills.

It is with events like this that the 7pm bedtime is a mum’s favourite time of the day. The time that Super-mum can finally relax on the settee with a glass of wine. For about half an hour….

I hope you enjoyed my POOP Blog if you have had a similar experience please share and make me feel slightly more normal.

Victoria Jennings Bloom Baby Classes

Marriage after kids lets now be honest by Bloom Baby Classes

If someone had told me ten years ago how our lives would change having kids I would of replied - not us no way!

Remember those pre kids days?

Date nights I would spend taking hours upon hours getting ready. Looking amazing - if i do say so myself, feeling fabulous. Eating out in fancy restaurants, talking all night till the early hours with the man of my life. Romantic walks hand in hand.

Fast forward 11 years and the reality? The lie in’s are a distant memory. We don’t go out. We can’t be arsed to be fair. Even on a rare occasion we are girl free we prefer to just stay in. As for talking until the early hours. Some nights we rarely speak. New underwear ? I wear maternity knickers still and my youngest daughter is 6!. (They are comfortable ok?!)

The constant loved up text messaging from a decade ago is now “can you bring me sanitary towels back with you, with wings make sure they have wings” “cat pood on carpet this is my life x” “make sure you put the cats out before bed x” and one i seem to send a lot of “cant cook tonight too tired bring fooooood x”

Things have changed but have they changed for the worse?

Children change everything, absolutely everything they changed my life. They have changed my husbands life. Yes life isn’t as glamorous but its definitely richer. Our children and their happiness is now our reason for being. There has never been such a huge amount of pressure upon us. These beings need feeding, clothing, teaching, helping, cuddling , loving and everything in-between. They have two role models and unfortunately for them its me and him.. So yes life isn’t as exciting and romantic but it worth all this effort.

And yes he drives me mad and I know i drive him to despair from time to time but we are a team. My husband backs me up I have his back too. and sometimes I get text messages like this.

We are now in a different part of our lives. Together. Another stage and we must do what’s needed for us and our kids. It’s commitment. It’s frustrating. It’s repetitive but its also contentment and its another chapter of our lives. Together. I wouldn’t want to get old and flabby with anyone else.

P.s Don’t anyone please tag my husband in this.

Victoria Jennings Co/founder Bloom Baby Classes

Changing friendships by Bloom Baby Classes.

Having a baby changes you in many ways as we all know. I didn’t realise how much having a baby would change my relationship with my mum and i didn’t realise or was prepared for how my friendships would change after having a baby. It’s sad to say but I lost many friends after becoming a mum and realised that there are things every mum who has lost a friend should know.

When Ana was 3 months old one of my closest friends at the time was getting married. I had been invited for a weekend away as part of her hen weekend. I was still breastfeeding and Ana wouldn’t take a bottle. My friend didn’t understand how much I was personally struggling, how much I feared leaving the house and how lonely I felt. She also didn’t understand that it was impossible for me to leave Ana. Needless to say that friendship broke down. and the reason was because I had a little person who needed feeding every couple of hours and there was nothing I could do about that. I was almost solely responsible for the life of a tiny human being and as a result couldn’t go away for a weekend and leave her.

There were other friends I obviously didn’t see as often and our friendships faded through no fault of anyone’s and as often friendships do. Friends can often grow in different directions and life in general can get in the way. There are no sour feelings between us, we just realized that life can push people in opposite directions.

I know I am not the only mum to loose friends through motherhood itself or the choices she makes as a parent but having a baby can change your priorities. It can be a hurtful experience where you feel let down - almost like a divorce, they are also often unavoidable and sometimes for the best. I often say all things happen for a reason and most likely when one person leaves your life in such a way a new person is just about to enter it.

Here are my 5 tips to help if you have experienced the loss of a friend since becoming a mum.

1. Sometimes ending a friendship can be the best thing for you to do.

   Yes that’s right, it sounds strange but there are so many people who can be physically toxic and when you get to the roots of that friendship and how they make you physically feel ending that friendship can be the best thing for you and your mental health. Some people can make you question yourself, make you feel low - is that person worth your time?

2. No more “What if’s”

   It will do absolutely no good to spend your time obsessing over the friendship and what may or may not (maybe) have gone wrong. What's done is done; what happened has happened. Don't beat yourself up about what you could have done or what you wish your friend would have done.

3. Friendships should not be exhausting

   A friendship should not be a battle, it should not be about one person putting way to much effort in and getting nothing in return Do not waste your time trying to salvage something that is effectively toxic. Let that person go, focus on you, focus on other healthy friendships, your family , your hobbies, job etc. You should not become emotionally drained trying to keep someone in your life.

4. Ending your friendship doesn’t mean you just erase those good memories

   Just because a friendship has broken down does not mean that you have to forget and file away all those good times you may of had. Everyone changes, life changes and creates different needs from you as a person and different purposes. Reminisce of the good times , appreciate the friendship for what it was then. It's okay to appreciate you time you did have, while realizing that, well, that time has come to an end.

5. Happiness is key

   Your own happiness and feeling as comfortable as you possibly can in your own skin is whats fundamentally important. Do what is right for you, if someone doesn’t understand you, is negative or no longer understands where you are do what is right for you.

I Know from running Bloom Baby Classes and getting to know many of you that some of you have experienced similar situations like this and hope you enjoyed reading this blog.. Since creating Bloom I have met some very amazing individuals that I work alongside and who I am very proud to know. and consider my friends.

To both my business partner and my long standing best friend you support me in so many ways I am so proud to have you both by my side.

Please comment below if you enjoyed this or have a topic you would like me to cover.

Vic x

Do you love your body is it easy to?

Do you love your body? I wonder how many people would answer yes?. Most of us have bits we don’t like, bits we do, bits we hate. Body image is such a tricky issue and we have so many elements tied into it – insecurities, confidence issues including stuff that goes right back to our teenage years and maybe even childhood. Memories from being inside the H&M changing room thinking “Why am I doing this to myself?”

For me personally, having battled with my weight since my teens I always knew that slim was the ideal. Not sure how I knew this and where it came from. Was it from my favorite 80’s TV shows Neighbours or Beverley Hills 90210?! Or was it hearing all the mum of my friends talking about the latest diets?

I remember always comparing my body to other girls and wishing i had a smaller tummy, Fast forward to my 20’s and i was a size 16 and found food a complete comfort, that and lashings of white wine to wash it down with. I was always on a diet and hated every aspect of my body. I took diet pills, drank diet tea or poo tea as i called it as all it did was make you poo and tasted awful! And spent most mornings stood on the scales and getting depressed that I hadn’t lost one pound overnight, despite eating salad ALL WEEK!

It’s only in my late 30s that I’ve had a bit of a “oh well” attitude towards my body. I’m a mum of three children and this is as good as it gets. Running a business and running my children all across the place leaves me no time for the gym (or so i tell myself). Its so ingrained in most of us to look in the mirror and be critical about what we see. That little voice popping up in our head picking flaws about our tummys and boobs. It’s no real surprise growing up in the 80s/90s with all the continuous magazine article on the latest fad diets those things were pretty extreme! These days with running Bloom Baby Classes Stockport and having the girls I’m using up a lot of energy and setting up and packing away of the classes gives me my daily dose of exercise.

Between you and me, I still don’t love my body, I still don’t feel confident about my lumps, i try to cover up at the beach on our holidays. Though I shouldn’t I should be a positive role model to my 3 girls. It’s easy to scream “Love your body!” but it’s another thing actually doing it. What i personally think would help me a little bit more is a change in how women are represented in the media. We are constantly bombarded with imagery of awfully looking underweight women, and this is what needs to stop.

This is where blogging comes in, more and more people are letting us into their lives, average people, average or not average sizes being themselves and letting us into their lives. This is great!! We are no longer being restricted to what the mainstream media want us to see.

So come on ladies, remove that awful filter off your profile pic we all know you weren’t born with animal ears and stop taking profile pics from high up in the air. Show us you are normal like the rest of us and maybe one day we might all become more accepting of ourselves.

How do you feel about your body and what advice would you offer?

Victoria Jennings - Owner Founder of Bloom Baby Classes, Multi Sensory Baby Development classes in Stockport, Cheshire, Manchester, Tameside, Hyde and High Peak.

3 babies, 3 pregnancies, 3 mindsets by Bloom Baby Classes

When i think back to each of my pregnancies they were all fairly different but what stands out each time is my attitude towards each one of them that makes them stand apart the most. I haven’t ever wrote about any of my actual pregnancies so thought it was about time! At Bloom Baby Classes we are now starting to see mum’s back with their second baby which is wonderful to see and some of you may be now thinking about baby number 2.

First time pregnancy – I knew exactly which foods I couldn’t eat, and was religious about avoiding them. Soft cheeses? No way! Runny eggs? Hell no!!

Second time – I have a vague idea of the foods I should avoid, but to be honest we were still co-sleeping with our 18 month old! I would ask Mr J “why do french women eat cheese when their pregnant? Will it be OK to eat some salmon?” I was much more relaxed and figured cheese wise I would just avoid unpasteurized. I was a lot more lazy about the whole thing second time round.The guidelines had changed within that small timescale anyway. (this isn’t medical advice always follow NHS guidelines folks"!”

Third time - With a 3 year old a 1 year old toddling around I was far too exhausted to even cook from scratch!! I drank a small glass of wine some evenings as it was my only sanity! By the time the girls were in bed I was far too tired to even think about food so M&S became our savior. In the daytime biscuits and cake would help my lagging body survive the day!

First time pregnancy – I worked full time in an office, 8.30-6pm Monday to Friday and beavered away, desperate not to drop any balls or compromise the quality of my work, despite feeling nauseous / exhausted / in later stages, like a whale. Terrified of not having an income or job to come back to after my maternity leave.

Second time – I walked out of above job after sitting for weeks at my desk feeling nauseous and realizing that life was too short. I needed to slow the heck down!! I missed my baby and full-time work was not for me.

Third time - I was self employed as a child minder as it meant I could be at home with my children and still earn something to contribute towards the bills. Being around children made me smile I only wished I could nap in the day like they did!

First time pregnancy – I was so organised. I’m pretty sure that by four months pregnant, I’d already spent hours researching prams, car seats and cots. I’d started buying things from a baby bath to muslins, even though I wasn’t totally sure what muslins were for - how could I not know! I bought about 2 dozen and boy was I glad I did!

Second time –  I know I’ve got some stuff in the loft, I know I’ve got some stuff to buy, I know I need to do some research because there are so many new things available since I was last pregnant, but have I looked into any of it? Nope. Unlike last time, I know you can get by with minimal STUFF so while I will do some research and buy some new things, I’m not in a panic about it.

Third time - I hope its a girl! Let it be another girl so we don’t have to buy a thing! I’m too tired and skint to buy anything!! Boys are OK with a red pram ? What about pink baby gros? Let it be pink!

First time pregnancy – I had a fairly normal social life, you know aside from those first few weeks where I was green with nausea . But once that had gone during my mid trimester, I went to the pub with my friends, I went shopping at weekend for new baby things, lets show this bump off!!

Second time – Well - social life? Whats one of those?!.

Third time - As above, anyone who wants to sit in a pub drinking lime and soda at 8pm???? 8pm?? who goes out at 8pm????!

First time pregnancy – Every twinge I felt, in my stomach area, worried me. Is something wrong? Google helped or didn’t help. Messaging my friend who had had a baby every single damned day. .”is this normal TMI!”

Second time – I’m so much more relaxed. This is a walk in the park - just do not try think about the birth!

Third time - I was being monitored third time around as Honey baby number two was almost 10lbs! I was tired, fed up and grumpy. I had SPD and felt constantly tired but the time just flew I had barely any time to check baby centre I knew it all !! An absolute pro!

First time pregnancy – I pre-washed every item of clothing I bought for my baby. Before she even arrived, my house was covered in tiny pieces of laundry, hung up to dry I was Super-mum most definitely.

Second time – At about 37 weeks I got all the clothes out of the wardrobe, stuck them all in the wash together and folded them into another pile of things that would one day get put away.

Third time - “This can be worn again can’t it?” “oh that’ OK just a small stain they are only in them two minutes it will be fine” Most of the clothes missing, lost in a wardrobe somewhere. Hand me down Kate third time around.

I’d love to hear how your pregnancy’s were different and if you have more than 3 how it changed again from there! Drop your comments below.

Author Victoria Jennings, owner/founder of Bloom Baby Classes. Multi Sensory Baby development classes .

Bloom Baby Classes Guide To Play Ideas For Your Growing Baby

When Ana was first born we must have spent a small fortune on a tonne of plastic toys, packaged as if they were preparing for a nuclear holocaust that not even the strongest pair of scissors could break open!  Most of the time these toys just ate batteries and got ignored whilst my girls found more fun playing with some pots and pans and a wooden spoon! Below is a useful guide of heuristic play ideas for your growing baby supporting their learning and development through their first year..

When your baby is newborn up to 3 months a baby doesn't really need any toys, you are enough for them. Being close to you is their preferred occupation! However you may want to encourage their development naturally and there are a few things you buy to use at home that your baby will love.

We love these Montessori Rainbow Ribbon Teethers, these are perfect for encouraging the muscles in your baby’s eyes and aiding their vision. Move the rainbow across their vision so they follow it with their eyes and tilt their heads to follow it around the room.

Another great addition for a young baby is a finger puppet. Finger puppets are also a great way of promoting early language skills, talking and singing a nursery rhyme to your baby with the puppet whilst she follows it with her eyes. Our Bloom babies love our mini caterpillar puppet at our baby classes

At 3-6 months your baby is spending more of their time awake and is more aware of their surroundings. Baby is also increasing its own strength now its muscles are starting to develop. Your baby during this time will learn to roll and you will find that most things your baby grasps are put to their mouth. This is the way your baby learns about objects through its taste and texture.

Many babies love wooden items to put into their mouths such as wooden spoons and spatulas and these are really easy to find in local stores. They also help teethy babies. Another great and cheap item you can try is an emergency foil heat blanket or as we call them “Space foil!”

For babies learning tummy time place the foil underneath them and let them explore it whilst on their tummy. Or try cutting the foil into squares and let your baby explore the sound and touch of the foil in their hands.

The blankets are cheap to buy and available on amazon.

Your baby is getting more and more mobile during this stage, they may have learnt to sit unaided or even crawl! Your baby is now inquisitive and ready to explore even more about the world they live in. A treasure basket is a great way to encourage your child’s natural development. A treasure basket is a natural wicker basket filled with every day natural items such as metal spoons, feathers, pieces of material, wooden spoons and honey spoons etc. A treasure basket allows a baby to explore, experiment and make choices at their own pace.

Frequent users of treasure baskets have been observed sifting through and discarding all the items until they find their favorite object, proof of the vital connections taking place in the brain”

Tom Shea “a learning experience to treasure” 2004

The treasure basket method was created by Elinor Goldchmied many years ago. It supports the view that we can provide our babies with a richer sensory experience by providing natural heuristic items as opposed to plastic toys, with one smell and texture and taste. Natural objects possess a wide variety of sensory properties, and many therefore are perfect for the Treasure Basket. As a baby notices a lemon or a natural sponge, then picks it up and explores with their gums and tongue, she simultaneously catches its scent, colour, texture and flavour. You can also add household items such as a bunch of keys or an egg whisk, as a baby shakes the keys or hits with the whisk they are also promoting their motor control and cognitive development.

We hope you enjoyed our Blog on Heuristic baby toys, what is your baby’s favourite treasure basket item? Drop your comments below.

Unique Baby Girl Names That We Love At Bloom Baby Classes

I think it's safe to say that three is most definitely our magic number when it comes to having children. We always said that we'd love to have two children, and number three little Miss Isla came as our surprise baby number three!. When it comes to thinking about having any more children, we feel like we're happy and content as we are. There's two of us and three little ones and it feels right for us that way.

Before I was pregnant Dave and I said how lovely it would be to have a boy, but when I became pregnant the main thing was just that the baby was healthy. We never thought we'd go on to have three little girls! Our girls each have quite unique names, Ana, Honey and Isla.

I have found that sometimes people assume that if you don't have a particular gender of child in your family (in our case a little boyl) that it's probably something that you feel that your missing, but for us we're really happy with the three children we have. I don't feel the need to try for a boy our family is most certainly complete.

Despite feeling content as a family of five, I still often hear names at our baby classes that I think would be so lovely for other children. Some of my favourite girl names are names like Fern, and also Rain, but I also have a list of unique and unusual baby girl names that I really like the sound of. And since I am not going to have any use for them, I thought I would share them with you all here in case anyone else is looking for some name inspiration for a soon to be born little girl. :) So here is my round up of unique baby girl names that we love at Bloom Baby Classes.

1. Rosaleen - it's of Irish origin and it means a flower or a rose and it's such a pretty name!

2. Faith - I've always loved Faith - I think I first heard it from the TV series Buffy The Vampire Slayer and I've loved it from there.

3. Ella - I am a HUGE fan of names like Ellie or Elliana they are really pretty!

4. Esme / Esmeralda - I really like the name Esme, I'm not sure why I just think it sounds so lovely. Esmeralda would be so nice as the full name to Esme.

5. Olympia - This name is one I've only recently started to love, but it's so unique and it always makes me think of strength and independence.

6. Alessia - Alessia is such a pretty name. I think it's actually the Irish version of Alexia! Lessie is also really nice as a shortened version of Alessia.

7. Aurora - This is such a pretty name and always makes me think of the Disney princess!

8. Theo / Theodora - Theo has become one of my absolute favourites and I think Theodora as a full name is so lovely too!

9. Belle - This is from my favourite Disney movie, Beauty & The Beast. I relate to Belle's personality a lot and I love the name as it's so pretty. I also like Bella (but then that's probably because I really like the Twilight moves too!).

What unique and unusual baby girl names do you love? Let me know if you'd like me to share my favourite unique baby boy names with you too and I will update you on my next Bloom Baby Class Blog!

Bloom Baby Class Your Brainy Baby

There is so much going on in your baby’s head right now its truly fascinating. Whilst researching for Bloom’s baby classes we have found out some amazing information so thought we would share.

You may think that all you newborn does is sleep, feed and repeat but that really isn’t the case.

Your baby is doing something incredibly important - she is growing her brain at one heck of a rate. These first days, weeks and months of your baby’s life are a vital time for her brain development. What she has learnt whilst in the womb will shape her for the rest of her life.

Your baby’s brain works harder than yous

“Over time, human beings have got smarter and that meant brains got bigger - until the point where it would be tricky for babies to be born” explains Dr Suzanne Zeedyk, a research scientist and developmental psychologist. (connectedbaby.net)

“So human infants are born at an early stage in their development”

The result is that your baby’s brain still has a lot of growing to do. “Her brain grows more rapidly between birth and the age of three than it ever will again” says Dr Suzanne

“It doubles in size in her first year and by the age of 3, it will have already reached around 80 per cent of the size it will be when she is an adult. And during this time it’s more active than an adult’s brain.”

During every second of your baby’s early months, a thousand neural synapses - the pathways that re formed from memories of experience - grow in her brain.

Your baby is born with a memory

“Mums often don’t realise that their baby arrives in the world already connected to her” says Dr Suzanne.

“Her brain has been developing in your womb and she can hear the world around you both from the third trimester. This means she arrives knowing your voice and that of whoever else is in the world on an everyday basis”

So although she can only see a small distance of 30cm at birth, your baby will recognise your voice and find it comforting hearing you chatting when she cannot see you.

Your baby cannot tune anything out

Your newborn can be easily over stimulated as they will notice every sound and sight around her.

"Your baby doesn’t know what to tune out because she doesn’t know how the world works yet” says Dr Suzanne “Right now she needs to notice everything to form all those synapses”

So while you are enjoying a cup of coffee in a café your new baby is taking in all the customers, the sounds of passers by , the coffee machine, the pictures on the wall. Etc

Your baby is a language genius

For us adults learning a new language is no easy thing to do but for your baby now Is the time!

“A brain goes through different developmental windows when it’s primed to notice particular things” says Dr Suzanne “and the optimum period of time for learning languages is from 3 months before birth and the age of 5 years”

Your baby is fine tuned to different sounds together with the rhythm and nuances of everything you say therefore learning a new language would be a much easier thing for him or her to do!

Baby LOVES you imitating her

Your baby is born anticipating a connection with the people around her, and she will use imitation to find it.

“she’s born with a brain that’s already interested in other people’s face: she’ll pay attention to them, reading and interpreting them” says Dr Suzanne “She will look for patterns from birth - for example if she sticks her tongue out, she’ll notice if your reply by imitating her. She’s always looking for a response from you, so if you copy her, you’ll soon find she starts “taking turns” with you.”

Her Brain is slow to control her body

There is an area at the back of your babies brain, the cerebellum, and is responsible for movement and muscle co-ordination. Until she is old enough and it is sufficiently developed, she doesn’t have the same control and older child does. Therefore your baby needs to learn to use her body.

Baby doesn’t consciously learn to roll or walk or crawl its a natural progression as the muscles in the body develop.

“Her brain then tracks the patterns of her body and the sensations, and neural pathways develop to give her control over her body”

Brain growth burns half of baby’s calories

Its a fact! and with all this growth and activity its no wonder. Your brain in comparison only uses a quarter!

At Bloom our classes provide a multi sensory experience for you and your baby, each activity is highly researched and benefits your baby’s development in different ways . Baby Classes across Stockport, Cheshire, High Peak, Greater Manchester, Trafford and Tameside.

Bloom-Baby-Classes-My-First-Baby-And-Me

23.10.08 01.50am

After 41 hours of a traumatic labour with a difficult delivery Ana Rose was born … The last time sleep had graced me was 3 days before and Ana arrived into the world bruised and scraped from the failed ventouse and the forceps. Flashbacks of a doctor kicking their white pumps off and putting her foot against the bed to extract her out of me ring back even to this day. Not one person had prepared me for this!

I was too scared to close my eyes through fear she would stop breathing, every time I tried to put her down she cried . The first night home she cried for over 3 hours and neither me or my now husband knew what to do. At one point he asked if we should take her back to the hospital! We were clueless, handed a bundle of crying red baby and sent on our way to cope by ourselves. Night four of no sleep made me see things, I kept staring at Ana and seeing her pull funny faces. I knew it was my tiredness at the time and not that I had brought a possessed baby home from the hospital but the thought did enter my head.

Most days she cried slept and fed repeat, and I held her, sleeping upright with her on my chest then after around a week we gave in and let her co-sleep. Dave would go to the shops for provisions on his way home from work and cook me a meal, id sit holding or feeding her unable to eat my meal and Dave would dutifully cut up the food so I could shovel pieces into my mouth every now and then.

Ana and I would watch box sets on the TV I spent a week watching all the pride and prejudices quite proudly and would report back each evening how many episodes I had watched. There were no baby classes to take her to or none that I knew of - not that I would of gone anyway.

When Ana was around 3 months old I felt a bit more able to go shopping and enjoyed the trip around Tesco perusing the baby aisle and would aim to get out of the house every other day. The supermarket became my best friend, Ana would fall asleep in the car seat on the way home, I would then sit in the car waiting for her to wake up as she slept lightly so attempting to bring the seat in the house always ended in her waking up. She rarely fell asleep in the pushchair so that was my routine. Some days I would just go for a drive waiting for her to fall asleep.

At four and a half months I returned to work, working almost full time hours and Ana went to my good friends who was a childminder so she was in very safe hands. There was little sleep at night as we were still co-sleeping and feeding in the night. Id leave for work at 730am and be home for 6pm life became tiresome, work was no longer enjoyable and at weekends all I wanted to do was sleep and pass Ana to her Dad.

That’s when I realised … I had started to feel different. I was different. I wasn’t happy one bit in fact I felt the complete opposite. I felt dread, sadness and an overbearing feeling of something literally hanging above my head. I didn’t want to socialise , I didn’t want to spend time with anyone. Spending time with Ana was tiring so I almost robotically parented her, handing her over to her Dad whenever I could. I was sad very sad and it scared me to death.

I decided after Anas first birthday to make more of an effort for my husband , Ana and myself. It was hard but I could no longer carry on in this way, it was difficult but small steps helped. I learnt about myself, ate healthier , walked more, got out more , made an effort to socialise more. Small steps, each day and I was able to self manage my sadness, enjoy my family more and the cloud started to lift…

For anyone reading this recognising those feelings feeling scared, reach out get in touch, talk. It does get easier you can feel yourself again. Bloom Baby Classes provided safe, relaxing and welcoming baby classes and know being a mum isn’t always so easy and we love getting to know our mums and their babies.

Vic x